It’s the last full week of December and somehow I’m just now writing my first blog post of the month. {Oops!} A couple months ago, I tried to sit down and write about how I was feeling about *waves hands around* everything and could not get it to flow in the right way. As much as I want to believe that someday this very intense year will make sense, it’s also ok if it doesn’t. Since we’re wrapping up the year though, it felt like a natural time to share one of my big takeaways on how everything intersects plus an update on my 2020 word of the year.

When Everything Intersects…on 2020 | Washington DC Blogger

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When Everything Intersects…on 2020 | Living Life in Buckets

I’m not so naive to think that I’m “not like other girls,” or super unique in my way of thinking, but as an adult*, I enjoy keeping my life in separate sections or buckets. You probably can relate on some level; you have work friends and while occasionally there may be more overlap they likely aren’t gathering with your family in normal times. Without getting deep off into a target, sometimes I feel like this is a shortcoming for me because it seems like other people are great at incorporating different parts of their lives to create a communal friend group whereas I tend to flit between the various buckets of my life.

* I use the term adult loosely and as someone that is still on a family cell phone plan.

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In the past, keeping things separated made it easier for me to know what to anticipate in expectations, conversations, and even relationships. I had my blog bucket, my family bucket, my volunteer bucket, my personal bucket, etc. But this year, it felt like the buckets got tossed up in the air and then combined into one large 2020 bucket. You may be thinking, ‘wow that sounds like a VERY unorganized bucket,’ and you’re absolutely right.

That’s the nature of living in a pandemic I guess; you see how much everything in your life intersects.

When Everything Intersects…on 2020 | So What Do You Do?

Personally, I think part of what was so hard for me to let go of in 2020 was control. I crave routine and being able to be mentally prepared for what’s coming and that was all out the window this year. And then when I *did* try to prepare for what’s next I was wrong. {Cue me thinking we’d be “back to normal” in the span of a couple weeks.}

It took me longer than I’d like to admit but 2020 was a humbling reminder to me that there’s only so much you can control.  To be totally transparent this was probably the most challenging part of this year for me. Because I’m someone that compartmentalizes, I think I’d grown accustom to knowing what sections of my life I’d need to have difficult conversations in and which ones I could count on to be less emotionally taxing. Throw in 2020 and suddenly all of us are having difficult conversations in multiple facets of our lives. The ability to escape from some of the bigger issues and circle back to them didn’t exist.

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From having to have honest conversations about comfort levels around risk to acknowledging race and privilege to basic needs and government shortcomings. It all felt like a lot. All the time.  I know I’m definitely not alone in feeling like this year was emotionally and mentally taxing & I’m also still trying to figure out all the ways this year has changed me. As much as I loathed some of the more difficult moments, I can say they helped me recognize a variety of things. My own shortcomings, where I may have turned a blind eye to certain behaviors from loved ones that I shouldn’t, reminders of the most important things to me, and a big lesson: I’m not going to be for everyone & I shouldn’t waste time trying to be.

When Everything Intersects…on 2020 | Where Do We Go From Here?

The past few months I’ve definitely been less present here but it’s been good self reflection time for me. I know that going forward I want to continue to try and live in one big bucket. {There’s times when it’s not appropriate and I’ll still honor that, no worries!} But I do want to challenge myself to live in a way that’s less afraid of failure and not be so afraid to address what’s important to me with certain people.

At the beginning of the year I sat down and decided my word of the year would be ‘less.’ Laugh with me. It most certainly has been a year with less: less socialization, less saying yes when you want to say no, less time with loved ones, less travel, less getting dressed up.

Would love to hear what this year taught you & rest assured that my word for 2021 will not be less.

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